Team NSH

I’m a tough dude.

There’s no question about it:  I’m tough…. or so I thought.  Yes, I’m willing to give myself that title because of my athletic abilities and freakish (though concerning) ability to get hit in the face repeatedly and not be phased by it. But I think it’s time to re-evaluate what tough means exactly.  And lately, I think there’s only one tough guy in the Hinds family, and by God if I don’t know anyone nearly as  tough as all five-foot-nothin Nan Superstar Hinds (did you know that’s what the S stood for?).

Round 3 of chemo is underway.  Mom breezed through the hospital portion today, and came home with the worst parting gift of all time in that damned 48 hour infusion pump.  She spent the better part of the day emailing and texting people, yet again refusing to act like someone getting a 6 hour dose of chemo.  She says she feels, “a little tired tonight,” but I think we’re all home tonight feeling “a little tired.” 

She continues to impress everyone with her spirit and fight.  I’ve said it to her a few times lately and it’s just a sentiment that I’ve been feeling more and more.

I’m flat out proud of her.

I’ve always been impressed by who she is, but I’m just proud of her lately.  No matter how grim the prognosis, she refuses to accept it lying down.  She’s shown more grit and resolve in the last three months than I ever knew, though in retrospect should have always seen buried beneath that Liliputian shell.

Every day I find myself more in awe of not only what she’s doing, but what she’s doing without the hint of a complaint or fleeting moment of woe-is-me.  She’s going back to her career to teach me what it truly means to be tough.

It’s not about my mile time, it’s not about how much I bench, and it’s definitely not about whether I can knock out an opponent in the ring.

It’s about fighting for what’s worth fighting.  It’s about handling the assured adversity that we’ll all have at some point and in some form in our lives with a smile and without accepting the predetermined fate without doing everything in your fiber to change it.  It’s about remembering the people you love when the chips are down, and it’s about dusting yourself off, and standing up off the canvas all while staring down the monster in the other corner.  It’s about letting the world know that you’re coming no matter what, and you’re bringing hell with you.

My mother is tough… and she’s reminding me every day exactly what that means.

-Todd